On any given day in our house you are likely to hear the refrain “has anybody seen my phone?” I lose it on an almost daily basis, but I am not the only culprit for losing things. The Man frequently asks the whereabouts of the keys, his swipe card for work, his clean [insert piece of laundry here] etc. The Boy can’t find the soft-toy de jour, his train, his tractor, his monster, his pants. The Girl can’t find her fingers, her toes or her MILK “I NEED MIIIILLLLLKKK! WHERE’S MY MILK GONE?” But mostly it’s me and my fucking phone.
Sometimes it’s other things. Just today I have spent well over half an hour of my (very precious, Boy-free) time hunting for the sodding Now-TV remote. It’s ridiculously small. And white, so it has probably blended in to the snowy drifts of nappies, muslins and other baby paraphernalia knocking about my sitting room, but honestly – where has it gone? I had it one minute then – poof – it’s vanished! Why does it have to be the remote for the one electrical device that can only be operated by remote and not by buttons attached to the actual device? Typical!
If only I could get back all those wasted seconds, minutes, even hours of searching for lost items I would have more time than I’d know what to do with. If you’re in the vicinity and see a small white remote looking lost, please send it back to me – along with all the wasted hours of my life!